Spring is in the air! I sit in meditation during the early morning hours and begin with a prayer, a mantra of sorts, and the process of just sitting. Damn this return from daylight saving—my body and brain are so out of sync with one another. My body is still rebelling having been nudged out of bed and my mind, wide awake, is already on a roller coaster ride of thoughts and ruminations clamoring for my undivided attention: I need to know exactly how my day is going to unfold—actually no, I don’t, but a part of me really does; and there’s the figuring out solutions to problems I don’t actually have, probably because I don’t really want to be with the problems that have yet to be solved. Then there’s this book I wrote which sort of came pouring out of me—this last item on my ‘bucket list’ from 2010: It needs a title and I’m kinda waiting upon the Universe, as I sit here—in relative peace and quiet—to send me some ‘in-sight.’
If there is one thing I take away from each meditation sitting, each yoga session, or any activity for that matter designed to bring me “peace of mind,” it would be that it is indeed a practice. It seems to me that in this day and age of infatuation with trends and gratification with all things that provide immediate validation (and conversely, avoidance or denial of all things that do not), we risk short-changing ourselves on the determination, the discipline, the drive and the devotion we cultivate when we engage in activities and workouts with intelligence and wisdom.
Life is all too consuming on ALL levels which makes it that much more challenging to show up for ourselves in present and constructive ways. At the end of the day trends are a dime a dozen and they come and go on a whim; there are no magic bullets or spontaneous solutions to the problems of life and living and being healthy and happy in our body—even if we do get caught up in seeking them out on occasion.
But there IS magic: It is in the unfolding of the process of being present and accountable for whatever it is we choose to show up for; to persevere at living life as consciously and fully as humanly possible. I notice my resistances—not just in my body, but, right here, in these incessant ruminations of my mind. I notice too my resistance to showing up for myself: What am I fighting against—in my body? In my thoughts? In my heart? What excuses is my self-limiting ego going to come up with next? How can I make this feel purposeful? How the hell do I—literally—get out of my mind?!
These thoughts move through my awareness at the speed of light and the moment I take note of this, I (finally) opt to come back to my breathing—it’s still there, go figure, and I am amazed both at the detour of my musings, the emotions they bring up in me, and the ease with which I have returned to my breath. In this instant I hear the melodic trill of a bird outside my window quite pleased to announce the advent of warmer weather and a season that is not-Winter. And my mind wanders off again, for a time, to kinder climates.